I have been really beating myself up lately over how little I've been able to accomplish.
And yes, I am still partially disabled due to my stroke eighteen months ago. And I just had surgery last Monday to correct something called Posterior Interosseous Nerve (PIN) Syndrome in my good hand that took me down to two fingers of usefulness. So it's perfectly understandable if my writing career is languishing a bit and my house is less than pristine.
There's just so much I really need to do, it's overwhelming.
My goal is to pick one thing everyday that I need to do beyond the basics of getting myself dressed, going to work/doing work, preparing meals, and seeing to my kids.
It may be a household chore that I just need to get to. Maybe something small like one load of laundry washed, dried, and put away (I usually manage two out of three on that, so it's important I see that one through). Maybe it's a larger task like scrubbing (I'm talking deep cleaning) the kitchen floor. The chore that I pick is going to depend entirely on how I'm feeling physically. I'm also going to defer some chores to David. He's been helping me out a lot since the stroke, but the truth is I can trust him to do more if I just show some patience and take the time to instruct him properly.
On my list of things to do, I'm also going to put down things that I have been badly procrastinating about. Like setting up some follow-up medical appointments - just routine stuff, but they really need to be done. Or calling a few creditors. Not looking forward to that one.
I also need to work a little harder toward my writing goals. I did manage to finish another novel just recently - and that was a huge accomplishment, particularly since the last third of the novel was typed with two fingers thanks to PIN syndrome. I still have three more books that got left on a back burner partially finished. One of my things to do will be picking one of those books and finishing it, so a thousand words becomes a "thing." I'd really like to shoot for two thousand, but I'm trying to keep this manageable.
The bottom line is, even if I do only one small thing a day, it's one more thing than I'm doing now (on most days anyway). Some of these will only take 5 minutes. Some will take much longer, and I'll ask for help when I needed, and listen to my body when it tells me how it's feeling.
I'm light years from where I was eighteen months ago, but I'd be lying if I said I was anywhere near where I hoped I would be right now. I can sit and wallow in that, and wallow in all the things that aren't getting done well or getting done at all. Or I can decide to keep moving forward, one small thing at a time.
I'll get there. If there's one thing I've learned about me, it's that. I'll get there. I may not always know where there is while I'm going there, but once I get there, I'll realize it was all worth it.