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Friday, March 30, 2018

The Frightening Food Gallery Of Horrifying Hospital Cuisine

Hospital Food. Two words that strike fear in the hearts of mere mortals, and for good reason. I've done some research on the subject, and while some places have truly lovely hospital food, this wasn't one of them. I've received excellent care in this place, but the food . . . oh God, the food . . .

This was one of my first breakfasts. I ordered wheat toast, peanut butter and banana, and I was kind of looking forward to it. What I got was a soggy, plastic-wrapped piece of previously toasted bread, peanut butter, and an unpeeled orange because they ran out of bananas. An unpeeled orange. For the girl with one working hand.

This is 7/8 of a mostly-burnt pizza. I don't know why it's shorn off. It is possible it was used as a weapon, perhaps against demons.

Unsalted saltines are both an oxymoron and a waste of time.

The egg salad was approximately eighty percent fat-free mayonnaise, which made for a nasty, soggy bun. So the next time I ordered it on a bed of lettuce. Bad call.

I believe this may be a sentient life form.

I call this the Big Bowl o' Bland. They call it mac & cheese, but it honestly was devoid of even the slightest hint of any kind of flavor, with the consistency of paste.

This monstrosity was billed as a "grilled chicken breast sandwich." It was not grilled. It was not white meat. I'm not even sure it was meat. It was a foul-smelling pile of skin, gristle and cartilage. I did not eat it - or anything for the rest of the day.

And finally, in the interest of fair play, here's the one good meal I had, and I ate it every day. Cottage cheese and fruit. With a side of  . . .fruit. But it was fresh and it was edible.

I hope you now have a new appreciation for the food in your cupboards and the leftovers in your fridge!

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