They targeted our school! she says breathlessly. They're coming for us!
Says who? I ask.
It's all over the internet! And clown sightings! They're closing all the schools!
I haven't seen any school closings, I tell her. You all need to calm down.
You know I hate clowns, she reminds me.
Ever since that scary clown at a birthday party (not hers) accidentally stepped on her foot, she's been sure they're all out to kill her.
And these bozos are not helping.
Save me from killer clowns and dramatic teenagers.