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Tuesday, July 19, 2016

What Grinds Your Gears? Tell Me About Your Confluence Of Irritants

I have a very good friend who refers to a series of annoying events as a "confluence of irritants." I am adopting that phrase to apply to the last month of my life, because it fits so incredibly well.

I had a big book deadline looming, and my laptop got swamped and killed by an annoying kid at a campground (not mine). Then I finally turned the book in and decided to tackle the Jurassic-Park sized weeds in my yard and trim up my hedges and boom! Poison ivy everywhere. Add into that the garage that replaced my dead alternator with a bad alternator (covered under warranty, but still an irritant), my bank being bought out (necessitating the changover of every website account that has my old debit card, every online bill pay setup, etc.), a beyond summer-bored teenage girl and a pre-teen boy with a massive head cold that is now settling in his chest and I have had a wonderful trip to irritation land.

And then yesterday, I got behind someone at the supermarket who was determined to park their cart in the middle of the damn aisle sideways and let their kids run all over the place. I swear to you my eyelid was twitching. Oh, and I'm dieting, too, so not in the best mood.

In fact, right now, I'm going to write down five things that have irritated the everliving piss out of me this weekend:

1. People who stop at an intersection where they don't have a stop sign - like going into a shopping mall. Incoming traffic almost never has a stop at shopping malls in order to keep it flowing, but I'm always behind the idiot who stops in the middle of the intersection - or worse, stops and waves someone at the stop sign through.
2. People who can't walk a few measly yards to put a shopping cart away in the cart return. There is a special place in hell for you.
3. When you order a thick milkshake and they only give you a straw. If I wanted to be able to drink it through a straw, I wouldn't have ordered it thick. Give me a spoon.
4. People who follow me in parking lots hoping to get my space when I leave. You are lazy a-holes and I will deliberately walk out of my way because of you. Plus, I don't know if you're a serial killer or just an a-hole for following me. Jerks.
5. My cat drops one single piece of food in his water bowl every single day. Only one piece. Every day. I know he does this just to eff with me, too.

Petty, I know. But I have had it with the irritation. Thank God I'm going to a beach next week.

Okay, so unload. What's irritating you today?

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