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Tuesday, June 14, 2016

Please Don't Ask Me For My Playlist

A few years back I remember getting into a discussion in an online forum about dating. We were mentioning things that were red flags or turn-offs, and I was surprised to see there was a group of people (mostly men) who truly felt they could tell if a girl was compatible by looking at the music they had on their iPhone.

I took offense at first, but then again, if they're going to disqualify me as a romantic possibility simply because of my music choices, then they're right: we would most definitely not be compatible.

Especially since I have very, very little music on my iPhone. Well, actually, there's a lot because my daughter and I share an iTunes account, but very little of it is mine. And I listen to almost none of it.

When I get in the car? Silence.
When I'm at work? Silence.
At home when I'm writing? Silence.
Sitting on the beach, hiking in the mountains, riding my bike?
Yup. Nice and quiet.

Maybe it's because my daily life is so chaotic. I adore my son, but the truth is, he almost never closes his mouth. He talks all the time. I mean, all the time. He'll talk over you as you're reminding him it's rude to talk while others are trying to talk. Or watch TV. Or write.

At the day job, I do a variety of things, all of which require me to be interrupted on a constant basis. I'd be yanking headphones out every two and half minutes if I bothered to try to listen to anything.

And despite all that ruckus...the truth is I like the silence. When the kids are gone to their father's, I don't need the TV on for "background noise." I might put on some reggae once in a blue moon while I'm cleaning, but that is the entire extent of my music indulgence. I do love music, though. Hell, I was a musical theatre major with a voice/dance minor in college. I love to hear it, love to sing it, but I just don't do it much.

It turns out that it's actually good for me. According to a recent study, silence is far more important for our brains than we ever realized. 

That's not surprising to me at all. I need my silence to recharge me from the chaos all around me. You might not be able to imagine a life without a beat beneath it, but me? I'll just be sitting here, basking in the quiet nothing. I'm happy to dance if you'd like me to join you. Just promise you won't judge me by my music files.

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