It's Friday and I want to be on a beach somewhere. I'd be willing to ride a tricycle while towing a cart of maniacal clowns in order to get there, if necessary. But since that's not likely, I guess I'm stuck here in town. I probably would have gotten lost anyway, since I always seem to read the wrong signs...
Like this one, for example. I mean, who knew!
Never forget to ask yourself the important questions.
The management appreciates your cooperation in this matter.
If you drink, don't drive. Take the train instead - you never know where you'll end up.
And finally - be sure you never, never do this. Never. You don't want to know why.