This April, I will have been parenting a teenage girl for two years. If I should survive that long.
I have put together this partial list of things I have learned. It is by no means a complete list, because I don't have the grey matter to devote to all the nuances of parenting a teenage girl, and because the rules are always changing. Today, they are as follows:
1. A drawer full of clean jeans are useless when they are not "the" jeans. You know the ones she means. Oh, wait. No you don't because you never pay attention to anything. Oh my God.
2. Making a bowl of ramen half an hour before mom gets home and makes dinner, then turning down dinner, then asking mom to make you eggs and toast at nine-thirty is seriously no big deal. No. Big. Deal.
3. Unlike last year when socks were technicolor and always worn mis-matched, socks must now match exactly and come only in black. And she shouldn't have to spell this out because you should have kept up. Honestly.
4. Don't tell her that her hair looks great when anyone with eyes can clearly see that part of it is too "bumpy."
5. You can never own enough phone chargers or earbuds. And she has no idea where they went but her phone is on 3% and now is not the time to address this.
I know you're not supposed to mix wine and Advil, but most days, I seem to need to. I love my daughter, but of course, I was never like this as a teen. I'm sure of it.
I tell you to ask my family, but they never really understood anything I screamed at them about anyway.
What about you? What are the the rules for your teen?