It's not a dirty confession, really. Especially since it involves water. But the truth is, I find rain to be impossibly romantic.
I was mostly raised in the southwest, where rain is rare and when it comes on, it's usually with a clap of thunder and a flash of lightning, all drama and wind and passion lighting the sky. I can remember as a child rushing outside and standing in it, twirling round and round as my mother shrieked at me to get inside.
And let me tell you, as a former resident of the great state of New Mexico, Land of Enchantment....if you've never smelled rain on sagebrush, you need to add that to your bucket list. There is no smell like it in the world anywhere. God, I miss it.
Here in Pennsylvania, we have the occasional rainstorm, but more often than not it's a gentle all-day soaker, overcast and gray and smelling of earth and worms and ranging from drip to patter to drip off and on all day and night.
I still love to walk in it. When the kids were younger, we all had rain boots and unless it was freezing outside, we were stomping puddles or dancing in it.
But rain on the overnight?
Waking to the sound of it pattering against the window in a sure and steady rhythm makes me want to roll right into someone's arms and move along in time. Seeing lightning flash against the walls and hearing the thunder rumble in the distance electrifies me and makes me want to grab shoulders and hair and roll across the bed with savage intensity.
And waking to any of that when I'm all alone in that bed....well, it makes me lonely. Just really lonely. So if it's a kid-free night, sometimes I'll pull on some jeans and comfy tee shirt, grab a hoodie and slip on some rainboots, and go walk in it.
Romantic me wonders if I'll meet another soul, out walking in the impossibly romantic rain, wide-awake and loving it as I do.
Practical me knows if I saw some strange guy walking in the rain in the middle of the night I'd turn and run the hell back home.
But I look for him anyway. My sleepy hand reaches across the bed for him in the night, and pulls back into my body as I curl into the pillow and listen and let it lull me back to sleep.
Some people want nothing but sunshine and clear skies. I can appreciate that. I'd love to be on a sunny beach somewhere just about any day.
As long as I can have my rainy night....