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Tuesday, November 24, 2015

When Your Kid Makes You Say The F Word

Okay, that title isn't fair.

I always tell my kids when they're screaming that no one makes them scream. They choose to do it.

So yes, I have a teenage daughter, and yes, I chose to use the F word in the middle of our heated argument.

I wish I could tell you it was greeted with shock, but she was hurling a few of her own and it just escalated from there. Typical stuff, really. Stuff we always argue about, when we argue. Which really isn't as often as a lot of mothers and daughters do.

I am grateful for that. I am really, really grateful for that.

I think the hardest part of us arguing is how completely and utterly alone I feel afterward. David is in his own little bubble. My ex is...well, my ex. I'm not calling him. My family is thousands of miles away. I have great friends and neighbors but they have busy lives and I've never been someone who could just call up a girlfriend and say "I need a shoulder." I'm stronger than that, I tell myself.

But that isn't always true. Sometimes I'm sad and I'm overwhelmed and I'm all alone in this and I need a break. I really need a break. 

And I need to not be so alone.

So I pour my heart out in a blog, and I post it, and I take a deep breath, and I move along. Eventually, the world will right itself and I'll sort of forget how alone I am.

And my daughter and I will make up as we always do and we'll talk and we'll crack each other up and the world will spin merrily on until we butt heads again. It's the way of mothers and daughters.

Especially the mothers with a potty mouth.

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