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Thursday, October 1, 2015

I Started To Post This On Tuesday. Really.

I'd like to tell you all about how organized and goal-oriented I am. I really would.

I spent yesterday in New York, meeting with my editor and agent, digging right into my first round of edits and rewrites.

It was invigorating. It was amazing.

I wrote at the train station. I wrote on the train. I talked out loud to myself endlessly on the drive home from the station, hashing through things, and then I got home and I wrote some more. 

And you probably think I'm so damn amazing, but I'm here to tell you, folks...don't hold your breath. I am the world's biggest procrastinator.
And this is the one thing I cannot, cannot allow myself to fall into the abyss over. I can't let self-doubt slide in there and tell me I'm not good enough, or that I've lost my way. Or that this is a waste of my time because they'll hate it anyway.

Because that's what your brain does to you, and that's what trips you up and makes you decide to fail before you even try, just so you can prepare yourself for it better. It's sad, really. There's a whole science behind procrastination - I'll let you read the article, but suffice it to say this pegs me perfectly. The little voice in my head tells me stories of magnificent worlds and amazing people, but it also tells me I'm the only one who probably wants to hear those stories.

I'm going to write them anyway, even if they end up being just for me.

Because they deserve to be told.

And I deserve the satisfaction that comes with seeing something through.

I'm going to do this.

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