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Thursday, June 25, 2015

Minor Annoying Things Guaranteed To Make You BatSh*t Crazy

This week has been a never-ending list of annoying things. I have a good friend who refers to this phenomenon as "a confluence of irritants." I have a very long list, but two of them are relatively minor:
  • I'm wearing shoes that squeak for some reason every time I walk today.
  • I have a bug bite in the center of my back that brushes against my chair every so often.

Those two things are annoying me to the point of madness. Seriously.

And then, in the middle of my confluence of irritants, I came across a thread on Reddit where they asked what minor irritation you would wish on your worst enemy.  Some of these answers had me cringing:

  • Every time he wear socks, he'll step in the wet part of the floor.
  • There's always one less step on the stairs than they expect. Or one more.
  • Every time he stops at a red light, the sun is in his eyes and the radio gets fuzzy.
  • Every time he goes to open double doors he reaches for the one that's locked.
  • Everything they ever buy would be completely normal right up until the point where they bring it home, which is when they would find out that everything is in clamshell packaging (and I mean EVERYTHING, you bought grapes? Every single one is in clamshell packaging, a new car? Clamshell packaging. Oh and scissors that can't quite seem to cut properly.
  • Itch on the middle of his foot.
  • The constant feeling as if a hair is in his mouth.
  • Their finger (or thumb) only works every third try on a touchscreen.
There are a lot more of these (here's the link if you want to experience the full cringefest) and they're pretty hilarious. 

It reminds me of a conversation my brother and I got into once, about horribly funny ways to punish wrongdoers. I came up with sliding them down a razor blade into a pool of rubbing alcohol, but my brother (who, it should be remarked, is really, really a twisted puppy) came up with throwing them off the Empire State Building and having them catch their eyelid on a nail on the way down.

Okay, maybe we both ain't right. 

So tell me, readers -  what minor irritants are bedeviling you today?

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