Life With A Side Of Autism

LIFE WITH A SIDE OF AUTISM

Thursday, September 4, 2014

Project Bombshell: Day 4 - It's All About The Mantra

I'm on Day 4 of the Fast Metabolism Diet, and my enthusiasm is waning a bit. Days three and four consist of protein, vegetables, and some vegetables with more protein. Nothing else. Meat. Beans. Egg whites. Veggies.

Nothing even remotely sweet.

And it's killing me.


My biggest downfall anytime I diet has always been my sweet tooth, and these last two days have been painful. Just painful.

Breakfast is protein and veggies, as is lunch and dinner. All snacks are protein only. And, of course, bucketloads of water and decaf tea, sweetened by Satan's spittle stevia.

I do okay starting my day, despite the fact that I wake up in the morning literally craving sugar. I am not kidding. I want something sweet from the second I open my eyes. Today, I got to work, went down to the cafeteria, and dutifully ordered my egg whites with veggies - no cheese, please.

As I carried it over to the cashier, I had to pass the display of muffins and sweet breads, and there was the frosted banana nut bread, looking beyond delicious, taunting me from the tray it was so artfully laid out on. I even stopped in front of it, mentally calculating how much longer I'd have to stay at the gym today or whether I could just skip eating the rest of the day and only have that damn banana bread.

But then I reminded myself that the whole key to this diet is not doing stupid things to throw off your metabolism, like tossing in a giant spike in blood sugar.

So I took a calming breath and forced myself to keep moving, all the while mentally reciting my mantra:

"That looks delicious, but I want to get laid."

That's incredibly indelicate, I know. But the truth of the matter is, part of the reason I'm not actively dating is because I'm just plain embarrassed to eventually get naked in this body. I know, I know...it's unrealistic to think I'm going to look like I did the last time I was actively dating because I was nineteen, for creep's sake. I know that there are men out there who would like me, curves and all. There are most certainly men out there who would have sex with me, curvy parts and all.
But that's not what I want. I want to walk into a room in a tight red dress and watch a guy's jaw drop. I want to peel off that tight red dress and not have to worry if the lights are still on.

And I want to be able to bike ride with my kids and keep up. Preferably while some hot guy with an awesome personality admires my shapely backside while riding his bike next to mine.

That's the agenda, and the mantra works for me. It honestly does.

So pass the damn broccoli, and keep your eye out for a red dress.




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