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Monday, September 1, 2014

Never Say Diet - Oh Wait, I Just Did

It is September 1st, and by coincidence, it is a Monday. The stars have aligned, the signs are all in place.

I have started (gasp) a diet.

It all started with the big boss coming to visit the office, and he's suddenly looking really lean. Like, healthy lean. He wasn't huge before, but he'd gotten a bit of a gut, no doubt due to all the travel he does and eating out all the time. I just saw him a few months ago and pow! He's dropped a chunk of weight.

And this is how he did it:

So I talked it over with my doctor, who I just happened to have a regular check-up scheduled with (another sign) and she said it looked pretty healthy. Whole grains, lean proteins, loads of fruits and veggies, healthy fats in moderation, lots of hydration, and no artificial anything. So with her stamp of approval, I am giving it a go for the month of September. I can do anything for a month, right?

Right? (she looks around nervously...)

This diet has you changing up your menu plans depending on your "phase days". Phase 1 lasts two days, Phase 2 lasts two days, Phase 3 lasts three days, and then you repeat. Because of the way the diet is set up, it's actually ideal to begin on a Monday, because phase 3 is the most permissive phase, and that would fall on Friday, Saturday and Sunday.

So here goes. Today's menu looks like this:

Breakfast: Fruit and Grain
Snack: Fruit
Lunch: Fruit, Grain, Protein, Vegetables
Snack: Fruit
Dinner: Grain, Protein, Vegetables
All meals/snacks eaten at 3-4 hour intervals throughout the day.

Of course, there's a long list of what I can and can't have (no bread, no dairy) within those categories, and I also need to drink half my body weigh in ounces of water daily. Some people have problems with this, but I drink a LOT of liquid all day long so no biggee. I drink mostly iced tea anyway, which is an adequate substitute, but for the diet purposes I have to switch to decaf tea and use stevia instead of Splenda.

Let me just say this about stevia: BLEH.

It's got an aftertaste that I don't like at all, and it's a lot sweeter than Splenda or NutraSweet. I mean a lot. But I remind myself that I hated Splenda's aftertaste when I first started using it, and now I can't even detect it anymore, so I guess it's a matter of retraining my palate.

And I haven't been without caffeine - and a lot of it - at any point in my adult life. Ever. So we'll see how it goes. I may post a selfie tomorrow of me taking an axe to a door while my children cower on the other side. We'll just have to wait and see.

So far, good. This was breakfast:

That's steel-cut oats with sliced peaches, and a couple of packets of stevia. It was surprisingly okay, and it filled me up well until lunchtime. I really didn't even need the piece of fruit as a snack but I had it anyway.

Lunch was a little more challenging, and here's one of my biggest problems with the diet - on days 1 through 4, you are allowed absolutely no fat. Nada. Zip. So I can't even hit a pan with a quick spray of olive oil and stir fry all these proteins and vegetables. Everything has to be stewed, steamed or roasted. That also eliminates any kind of salad dressing on a salad, too. Yuck.

So here's my first day recap (and I'll post regular recaps through the month, but don't worry - I won't be blogging only about this. Snoozeville.):

Phase 1:
Lots of fruit and whole grains like steel cut oats, quinoa and brown rice.
Lots of veggies and lean protein
Lots of water and decaf iced tea with stevia


No counting calories, minor measuring for serving size
Haven't been hungry yet
Good variety of food keeps my palate from becoming 'fatigued'


No Splenda :(
No Soda (SERIOUS frowny face)
No Caffeine (may induce hysteria and murderous tendencies)
No dairy (and in my opinion, everything is better with cheese)
Kind of expensive (quinoa and gluten-free crackers are pricey)

Feeling: Pretty good so far. Go me.

Of course, I'm still working out, so I'm hoping this will only aid in the effort.

Hold on to your intestines - Project Bombshell begins NOW!!

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