It was just a routine trip to the grocery store after a routine day at work and I was heading home to my routine life and feeling pretty average about it all.
Nothing spectacular. Just me being me.
I was tired. I'd like to say I was having a great hair day or I just felt great all over, but that wouldn't be the truth. I was tired, and I'm tired a lot.
I'm a single Mom. I work two jobs. I have teenage daughter who's thirteen in a twenty year-old body and pre-pubescent boy with autism. None of that is easy. And more often than not, it leaves me feeling kinda....well, I guess "drained" is the right word.
And that was me last night. I drove home from work in traffic, I stopped at the grocery store with the measly twelve dollars I have to spend until payday, I got in my car, and I started driving the remaining two miles to home.
I pulled up at a red light, the first car in line in the turn lane, and there you were, sitting at the light across from me, ready to go right by me. You weren't bad looking, maybe a little younger than me, and you had the window down because it was a nice night and you probably like the fresh air.
Or maybe you ate a lot of Greek food earlier. Who am I to judge?
Either way, you got your green light first, and you slowly accelerated, and as you did, you looked at me.
I mean, you looked at me. Really looked. Turned your head and everything. You were even distracted enough that you swerved a bit and had to over-correct.
And then my light turned green and I turned and drove the two miles to my house with a secret smile playing about my lips, sitting a little taller in my seat. I put my window down at the next stop sign, letting the wind blow my hair and dragging my fingers through it, smiling and feeling kinda....well, sexy, if you must know. I felt sexy.
All because you looked. You looked and didn't leer. Your look said "Well, aren't you interesting?" and not just "Oh, look, somebody with boobs!" and that kind of look does wonders for a lady's ego.
Or, at least, it did for mine.
I got home and made my kids some kick-ass tacos and settled down to write and I wrote like a mo-fo and I was energized and ready to rock my world.
And when the kids finally fell asleep, I sat down on my bed instead of slumped down, and I replayed that moment again in my mind. And again.
Hey, I got looked at.
I don't need your validation. I'm a perfectly whole human being without it. I have a great job, a good life - despite its challenges - wonderful friends, a family I love and two kids that are truly my favorite people on earth, so no, I didn't need your validation.
But I sure did enjoy it.
Thanks for that, SUV guy. You made my night.
Oh, and I'll be at that light about ten minutes earlier tonight, if you just so happen to be driving by...