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Thursday, July 17, 2014

Someone Who Makes A Lot More Money Than Me Came Up With This

Do you see this?

That is the packaging for a Venus ladies razor.

And some genius at Gillette came up with the magnificent idea of giving them a Scented Handle. And not just any scented handle, mind you - a Tropical Scented Handle.

So that when I'm done shaving my legs, my palms can smell like sunshine on pineapples, with just a hint of coconut. Because I've always thought to myself, "Self, wouldn't it be awesome if my hands smelled like crushed hibiscus sprayed with over-ripe guava?"

Why yes, of course it would.

Provided I'm not shaving in the shower, of course, where it would wash right off, leaving me bereft of the tingling odor of beach and sun and rainforest wafting off of my fingers.

Listen, I'm a single girl. I need all the help I can get luring in a man. Thank God the folks who make Venus understand the importance of just such a feature. Why, I haven't been so impressed with a product since the Bic Lady Pen.

Maybe someday soon, I'll be sitting across the table from Mr. "Oh I hope he's the one" and he'll reach for my hand, and immediately he'll have the sudden and overwhelming urge to sweep me away to a tropical island, where we'll frolic in the surf and make love on a bed scattered with orchids.

Perhaps I'll attract a man of Polynesian heritage (Dwayne Johnson, I'm looking at you....) and he'll beg me to let him crush me to his shirtless chest and then he'll want to take me back to his private island where we'll drink out of each other's coconuts and wear nothing but flower leis.

And I'll know just who to thank for it, too.

Don't look so skeptical.

You've got to have faith.

And a Venus razor with a specially scented handle.

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Ellie DeLano spent four years as the Divorce Blogger for Woman's Day Magazine, chronicling her transition to single parenting and mid-life dating after decades of marriage with poignancy and humor. What she learned from her readers and her own experience was invaluable, and she shares it here with a straightforward guide to the things you really need to help you move forward after your divorce.
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