My family loves to watch movies. We have a DVD collection that's epic in its proportions, subscriptions to Hulu, Netflix and Amazon Prime, and we still rent from RedBox when there's something new out. We also manage to go out to the movies at least a couple of times a month, finances permitting. (After all, buying popcorn, sodas and pretzel nuggets at the movies is about the same as making a mortgage payment).
So speaking as someone who watches a lot of movies on a regular basis, here are a few overused movie conventions that really hack me off:
- Why doesn't anybody say goodbye at the end of a phone conversation? People just hang up the phone after that dramatic line or informative exposition, and there's no "goodbye" or "talk to you later" or even a "sayonara." Was everyone in the movies raised without manners? Where's the goodbye?
- Raise your hand if you park your car on the street and leave it unlocked with the keys in the overhead visor. Yeah, I didn't think so. But movie heroes who are running from bad guys, aliens or zombies always seem to find them there, don't they?
- Why can't bad guys shoot straight? Even with a machine gun?
- Don't even get me started on the plain girl with the glasses who suddenly becomes hot when she lets her hair down and takes the glasses off.
- Whenever a movie character turns on the television, it will be at the exact moment the TV newsperson is discussing a relevant plot point. Doesn't anyone watch sitcoms?
- "You just don't get it, do you?"
- Hero is about to be attacked by a group of bad guys, who all politely wait one-at-a-time to beat on him.
- A walking bad guy will always catch a running girl because she will fall down.
- People getting knocked unconscious and then getting up a few minutes later, rubbing their head and going on about their business. I had a mild concussion once and it curtailed my activities for damn near two weeks. Getting hit hard enough to knock you out is not something you get up and kick ass after.
- The hero gives a huge, motivational speech moments before the assembled good guys attack or are attacked by a horde of bad guys. Really dude? You're speechifying now? Can't you see we're busy??