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Friday, May 30, 2014

Ellie's Celebrity Harem, Volume One

It's Friday, and I most firmly have an attitude of complete and utter reckless disregard for anything at the moment. So, daredevil that I am, I'm going to sit here in Panera Bread and type up the list of people who I would admit into my celebrity harem.

A harem, you understand, isn't about living happily ever after with someone. This is pure, selfish, short-term gratification only (Heh. When I first typed that word, I mis-typed it as 'gratifucation'. Freud would have a field day with me).

And for the sake of this exercise, we will assume they're all single even though most of them are not. It's a fantasy, people. If I think of them as married men, then they're firmly off limits and that won't do when I need my pure, selfish, short-term gratification fantasies hypothetically fulfilled.

So here's the top 25 list (I had to cut it off somewhere), in no particular order:

Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson
Colin O'Donoghue
Viggo Mortensen
Lenny Kravitz
Liam Neeson
Jamie Dornan
James McAvoy
Tom Hiddleston
Hemsworth, Either (though I feel a little dirtier choosing the younger one)
Ryan Reynolds
Nathan Fillion
Chris Pine
Idris Elba
Timothy Olyphant
Aidan Turner
Anthony Keidis
Jason Momoa
Sebastian Stan
Brendan Fraser
Jeffrey Dean Morgan
Gerard Butler
Antonio Banderas
Josh Duhamel
Michael Greyeyes

I could go on several more pages, I'm sure. This is by no means a comprehensive list. These guys (or at least, their public personas) just do it for me, hypothetically speaking. Next Friday, my list of unconventional LadyBoners.

I know you're dying for that one. In the  meantime, who's on your fantasy harem list? I think it  might be fun to start a fantasy harem league, the way that people have Fantasy Football leagues. We could trade harem attendants and stuff. Or whatever it is you do in Fantasy Football, because I have no idea. I don't even watch real football.

Lay it on me - who's in your celebrity harem?

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