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Friday, October 25, 2013

Just Because It's Friday And I'm Feeling Particularly Sadistic

I'm firmly middle-aged. There, I said it. I'm closer now to my AARP card than I am to my college years. In hippie tree-hugger terms, I've flown past "maiden", and now teeter precariously between "mother" and "crone."

Crone is such an ugly word.

And I refuse to feel alone in my rapidly aging body (with the mind that seems to age at a pace that double that of the body). So here, for your Friday enjoyment is a list of ten facts to make you feel really, really old.

Crone-ish, if you will. Unless you're a man. I don't know what we call a male crone. I'll have to get back to you on that one.

Sorry, did I wander off-topic? I have a tendency to do that these days.

Anyway, here's the list:

  1. People born in the year 2000 are now teenagers.

  2. The Teletubbies baby is now a grown woman.

  3. And this is the girl from Spy Kids.

  4. "Charles in Charge" was cancelled 23 years ago.

  5. "Karate Kid" Ralph Macchio is 51.

  6. Try explaining to your kid why you wanna "really really really wanna zig a zig ahh".

  7. Jello pudding pops haven't been made in over 20 years.

  8. Your daughter doesn't know that "One Way Or Another" by One Direction is a cover (I have personally experienced this one).

  9. Steve left Blues Clues eleven years ago (but you can follow him on Twitter).

  10. Everybody knows the Soft Kitty Song, but nobody remembers Smelly Cat.

Well, on the upside, at least today's kids will never know the horror that was Crystal Pepsi. So, there's that.

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