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Monday, October 14, 2013

Is This What It's Like To Hit Rock Bottom In The Well Of Loneliness?

I was kid-free this past weekend, and since I can't afford cable right now, that means a whole lot of movies between housework and yard work and writing work and work work. God bless Redbox. Thanks to them I had a "Mediocre Movie Marathon" featuring: "After Earth" (which was truly mediocre), "Oz The Great and Powerful" (below mediocre, and it pains me to say it because I love love love James Franco), 'World War Z' (better than expected, but from what I understand, that's because I didn't read the book) and "Bridesmaids", which was wonderful but not what I expected at all.

"It's the female version of The Hangover!" The press touted. "Hysterical fun!" "You'll laugh until you cry!"

Yeah, about that...

Someone should have warned me that this was a movie about a woman who's all alone and pretty much at rock bottom and feeling abandoned or worse, like she's the engineer of her own destruction.

'Cause I can relate. I can relate entirely too much and unfortunately, I have no Melissa McCarthy to come along and smack me back into my life again in an uproarious fashion. I have no one true female bestie that I can sit on the bed with and feel like I'm going to figure this out, because she's always close by and always got my back.

Worst of all, I have no Irish boyfriend with a heart of gold who jokes away my issues and eats my baked goods.

And that's a damn shame, because let me tell you, my baked goods are legendary. Seriously.

So I finished the movie and I curled up on the couch and I had myself a really pathetic pity party featuring at least a half-gallon of saltwater and most of a box of tissues. And then I dragged myself up to my empty bed in my dark and quiet house and stared at the ceiling and wondered if I was going to be alone in that bed forever.

Who am I anymore? What am I doing with my life?

Who am I kidding? What life?

Oh, there's nothing like an existential crisis at 2:45 in the morning. I ended up reading until I couldn't stand the romance between the protagonists in the story anymore, put down my Kindle and opened up my laptop and wrote my own damn love story.

I guess that's where it's all going to play out, at least for now.

And maybe someday, the words will meet the ether and he - whoever he is - will step out of the swirling clouds and sit next to me and help me laugh at movies again.

1 comment:

  1. Ugg! having trouble posting a comment, 2nd try! Great post. I've been wanting to write a post like this. Can relate, especially at 2:45am in the morning. Keep writing...