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Tuesday, August 6, 2013

Just Me, A Monk, And A Cupcake

One of the occasional challenges about being a blogger (particularly if you blog on multiple platforms, like I do) is finding something to write about. Some days the blog fodder flows like a river thanks to life situations, or current events in the news or the occasional bolt of bizarre inspiration.

Other days, you're scraping at bits and pieces, discarding a mountain of crap ideas and finally settling for some goofy inspirational quote or photo just because you can't brain today.

And today is one of those days.

Oh yes, today is one of those days.

My personal life is actually in a bit of turmoil right now, but I haven't gone into it here because frankly, I fear it will degenerate into a bunch of whining and venting and nobody wants to read that. Least of all me. So for the sake of brevity, here's the situation.

I might be losing my job. My day job. The one that pays most of the bills. I won't know probably till the end of next week, but I'd say there's a good chance I'm going to be laid off. I found out last week, and descended into a fog of depression for a day or two, and now I'm just plodding along, waiting for the sword of Damocles to fall and cut a big hole in my life.

Oh, it's joy, let me tell you.

My friends and family have been wonderful, supporting me, telling me there's a reason for this, cheering me up and cheering me on. I am so very blessed to have them all. They're helping, they really are.

But last night, a neighbor came by as I was doing my yard work, and we stood talking about the whole situation and she said to me, "Honestly, when are you ever going to get a break? I mean, look at you. You're doing everything you're supposed to do. You're a hard-working Mom and a good wife and your husband leaves you. And you've got a disabled kid. And now you might be losing your job when you've busted your ass for them. Why you? Why does it all fall down on you?"

I didn't know what to answer her, probably because there isn't an answer. It all just is. And I appreciate her outrage on my behalf, but it kicked up a storm of wallowing that I really shouldn't have indulged in. I wallowed for a good long time on the overnight last night, after the kids were in bed.

Why me? I mean, really - why me?

And I looked down into the endless chasm of wallow and made a conscious decision to step away from the edge. This is getting me nowhere, except stuck on the side of a mountain of second-guessing and self-loathing. It's stupid. And useless.

So I got up this morning and thought "I really need to blog about something, but damn, I'm not getting into this work stuff again. Time to move forward." But no blog fodder existed in my sleep-deprived brain. Nada. Zippo. Zilch.

I moved on to one of my last-ditch fallback things: I Googled "Writing Prompts." This isn't usually great, because most writing prompts aren't geared toward blogging but short stories or novel ideas. That's when I happened upon this awesome prompt, ironically at a site called Writing Prompts That Don't Suck. Here's the prompt:

Write about someone who takes time off from work and has an unexpected adventure. It has to involve a monk and a cupcake that is more than it seems.

It is not lost on me that I may, indeed, be taking time off from work. Why the hell can't it be an adventure? I'm not kidding myself that I won't be devastated if the axe falls on me, but at the same time, I'm cut loose to do....something else. Maybe with a monk and a cupcake.

And I'll make sure that's one hell of a cupcake.

At the very least, I'll have time to finish my damn novel. And I swear, I think I'm going to title it "My Damn Novel" because it's been three years in the making, three years of second-guessing myself and telling myself no one would probably read it anyway. And that's a big load of horse manure. People read me all the time, and I have to stop making excuses to myself. What have I got to lose?

So you'll have to excuse me as I end this blog post and get to work on My Damn Novel. Now with 30% more magical cupcake, and a newly added character who's a monk that works as a quirky Wal-Mart greeter.

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1 comment:

  1. I hope that you don't lose your job but remember that sometimes when one door closes another one opens.

    I understand the hardship of being a single mama, I was a single mom for about 8 years. It is tough and it is a lot of work doing everything on your own. But remember that things will work out and you have a chance to find your "real" prince charming who will accept you and your child as a package deal. I have been remarried for 5 years now and I never thought I would get remarried.

    Everything happens for a reason. :)