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Monday, December 10, 2012

I Need To Get A Life...Just As Soon As I Figure Out What That Means

I was kid-free this weekend, since the kids were with their Dad. As usual, I did a huge amount of laundry and cleaning, and finally, I settled on the couch and loaded "The Avengers" into my Blu-Ray player. Up popped a message that read "This movie has been viewed previously. Resume play?"

I suppose I should be grateful that it didn't say:

This movie has been viewed entirely too many times and you need to get a life and/or a boyfriend. Stat.

When my husband first left and the shock and anger and pain started wearing away, I realized that I was at a crossroads. I also realized that a lot of that shock, anger and pain came from being forced out of the life I was comfortable in.

Comfortable, but not always happy.

In fact, not often happy, but I didn't realize the extent of that until suddenly, I had this life that I had to live on my own terms now.

My life.

I got to make decisions without consulting anybody. I still had to take my  kids into account, but that's so second-nature it doesn't feel like much of a push, really. Other than that, I get to call the shots.

I get to have a life the way I choose to have it. The only trouble is I'm not exactly sure what sort of life I'm wanting to have. I have a vague idea of things I might potentially possibly want to do when I have the time and the money or I'm ready to date or whatever. It's fuzzy around the edges and I've purposely let it be so because I don't want to do anything rash.

Now I'm wondering if I'm being entirely too cautious to the point of boring myself. I need to get a life, I really do.

That, or a spare copy of The Avengers, because I'm not sure how much longer this one can  hold out.

How do you break yourself out of your comfort zone?

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