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Friday, November 9, 2012

NaBloPoMo#9: How In The World Do You Pick Just One?

Prompt: If you could change one thing about your life, what would it be?

One thing. Just one. I need to pick one thing to change out of the entire novel-length ledger book of stuff I long to change:
I'm in the middle of a divorce that's been dragging it's heels entirely too long. I want it to be over. Just over.
I have a special needs child and a daughter hitting puberty. Either/or can make my life chaotic as hell most days. I love my kids fiercely, but it's hard dealing with this alone.
There's that word again. Alone. I'm lonely. I don't want to be lonely anymore.

I need more money. We're always one fiscal hair's breadth away from disaster and we never have the money to do the things we'd like to do, or even that we used to do. I'd love to take the kids on an outing some weekend, and not have to calculate how much sodas and snacks or even the gas to get there will cost. 
I'm not trying hard enough to keep my body healthy. Worse, I don't know why I'm not trying hard enough.
I wish I had a job that was closer to home so my commute wasn't so long. I love my job, but the commute is tiring.
I could go on and on and on. So maybe that's what I need to change. I need to stop putting all this stuff in my imaginary ledger hoping that the Someday Fairy will wave a magic wand over it and change it all.
I'm the one who has to do it.
So there's my wish. If I could change one thing, I would change me
Because that's not happening the way I think it should.

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