I was in a bit of a rush this morning. For whatever reason, the alarm didn't go off like it should (or maybe it did and my hand hit the snooze independently of my brain, I'm not sure) and we were running late. Add to that the stress of a semi-annual dental appointment for the kids and me forgetting it was trash day and the trucks could show up any minute, and we were in a bit of a whirl.
I was getting ready to pack my son's lunch, reaching automatically for the small, plastic snack container he keeps in his backpack so I could stock that, too, while I was at it.
That's when it happened. That's when I completely lost my mind.
I reached for the Cheezits and I put them in the snack box and loaded it into the backpack so that he had a mid-afternoon snack to delight him at snack break. Then I packed his sandwich, applesauce and juice in his lunchbox and reached for the Cheezits, loading some into a baggie. And I put them in the lunchbox and zipped it closed.
I put them in the lunch box and zipped it closed.
May God have mercy upon my Mommy soul.
I had nothing else to give him in the way of chips, pretzels, or artificially cheesy-flavored lunch accompaniments. I hadn't made a run to the grocery store lately, and somehow, we were down to Cheezits, which I had to give him twice.
I gave him Cheezits twice.
In my defense, one set was regular Cheezits, and the other was Alphabet Cheezits (See! Educational!), and he would cheerfully eat Cheezits for all three meals on any given day and still ask for several handfuls in between, but that is neither here nor there. The truth is, I gave him double Cheezits, and I felt guilty about it.
Really, really guilty. Like I'm a bad Mom guilty.
Why do we do this to ourselves?
I work a full-time job (and a second job on top of it), cook meals, do laundry, clean house (OK, so I don't do that as much as I should - and there goes some more Mommy guilt...), supervise homework and do the thousand of other myriad things that make up my Mommy Universe, but I double-Cheezit my kid and I berate myself mentally for most of the drive to work.
And I still feel bad about it now.
I just hope that someday, I'll decide I've done enough good Mom things to save my tortured soul.What unforgiveable Mommy sins (in your own mind, anyway) have you committed?