Yesterday morning, I dragged myself out of bed and headed downstairs to prep breakfast, pack lunch, and sign off on homework papers before heading back up to wake the kids for the day. As I was carrying my son's backpack to the kitchen table in order to rummage through it, something caught my eye.
There was a plate under the table.
On the plate was a semi-melted pat of butter. With a Lego in it. It looked like the cat had taken a few licks, but otherwise it was intact.
Neither kid seemed to know why, either. One of them might have done it - she was too sleepy to be talkative. The other claimed ownership of the Lego, but that was as far as he would go. I had to wait until after school to get my answer. Such as it was, anyway.
"Remember Olivia?" My daughter asked. "She came over and was like 'hey, let's make duct tape bracelets' so we did and then we needed a plate."
"Go on...." I encouraged.
"So we used the plate for duct tape..." (I didn't interrupt to ask why) "And then we had some toast."
"And you used the duct tape plate for toast?" I said with raised eyebrows.
"Yeah, except the cat got stuck to the duct tape."
"There was a big wad of it. Anyway, Olivia said the butter would unstick it from his fur," she ended with a shrug.
"You buttered the cat???"
"You BUTTERED THE CAT!"
I walked away, shaking my head. But wait. Why was the plate under the table?
Because that's where the cat was. Duh, Mom.
And what about the Lego?
According to my son, the Lego was eating the butter.
Well. Allrighty, then.
This parenting thing - it's never dull!