Yesterday was the second day of school, and my son woke at 2:30 AM in some serious...uh....intestinal distress. I couldn't very well send him to school chained to a toilet, doubled over with searing cramps, so I stayed home and lost one of my precious vacation days. As usual.
Of course, by noon he was feeling much better (thank you, children's Immodium!) and he cheerfully bedeviled me as I tried to keep up with my blogs and simultaneously check my work email from home every so often. He is feeling much better today and he's back to school.
I, however, am feeling like I'm ninety because two kids sneaked into my bed last night and I slept (when I could sleep, that is) with knees in my back and an elbow in my throat.
I've decided this sort of nonsense needs to stop. As a single Mom, I need to make sure I have a strong support system to get me through these little bumps in the road. Therefore, I'm going to be making some changes around here.
First of all, I'm hiring. Please review the ad below, and respond only if fully qualified:
Late twenty-ish to late forty-ish boytoy needed for handyman work/domestic chores/child care duties. Must be a certified massage therapist with professional pastry chef training. Owning a vineyard would also be a big plus. Apply in person only, preferrably shirtless.
Guess I shouldn't hold my breath on that one, huh?
I'm just plain worn out today, and I don't see any relief in sight. The kids are spending one night with their Dad this week, and I'll be doing laundry and cleaning and mowing the lawn that night because I have them for the whole holiday weekend.
Between school starting up again (hello, homework!) and the start of cheerleading practices, I feel like I'm running non-stop after work. Mainly because I am. I need a break or a helper or something. I keep getting those stupid spam emails telling me that my Russian bride is waiting for me to claim her and all I can think every time I see one is GREAT! Holy cow, could I ever use a wife!! If she does laundry, she can have my side of the bed.
Till then, I guess I'll revise my ad so that I might get a few acceptable candidates. How about this?
Person who won't judge me for my cluttered house and weed-filled flower beds to put away folded laundry that I've left in the basket for two weeks and keep a kitten off my face in the middle of the night. Must be able to sing children's songs and insert the word "butt" occasionally for maximum giggle value in keeping with my son's nightly bedtime ritual. Also must be able to nod and offer diplomatic commentary through the replay of a pre-teen girl's entire day and peer interactions, no matter how lacking in common sense they can occasionally be. Apply in person to the babbling idiot who couldn't find her car keys this morning because they were in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge (don't ask).
P.S. Dispensing of foot rubs a HUGE plus.
OK, maybe the last line is a bit much.
A girl's got to dream, right?