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Friday, April 6, 2012

Things That Irk Me

Why do celebrities do hair color commercials?

Do they honestly think we'll believe that they're covering their gray or getting that lustrous shade of auburn wearing plastic gloves, hovering over a bathroom sink with a box in their hand? Not likely. They ought to show D-list celebrities. Has-beens who are so far down on their luck, they probably are coloring their hair in the sink. At least until they get paid for making a commercial about hair color, and then they'll be visiting their stylist again.

If the 80's are coming back into fashion, why can't they bring back shoulder pads? They don't have to be massive - but I was one of the fortunate few that looked great in them. My shoulders are naturally a bit slopey (and my posture has always been haphazard at best). Shoulder pads made me look powerful, and since I didn't have a bust that could do it, they balanced out my butt. I want them back. I want them back now.

Why do celebrities with a team of nannys talk about how hard Motherhood is? I can  understand if they're whining about not getting to see the kids enough, but to act like they're juggling a career and daily caretaking when all they're really juggling is the career makes me want to drop them into my life for just one day. Work two jobs, take care of two kids, do homework, pack lunches, do laundry, clean up after them, cook dinner, listen to the kids fighting in the other room...just for one day. Then make the celebrity color their hair with stuff from a box while one kid flushes an action figure down the toilet and the other repeatedly screams "Mom!" until you watch her dance to the new Nicki Minaj song.

Maybe it can be a new reality show. "Celeb-Swap!" Drop me into their life for one day, with the personal trainer, on-call masseuse, red carpets and boy toys. I could handle one day of that.

And you won't hear me whining to Letterman or Leno about a bit of it.

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