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Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Gettin' Old

I went grocery shopping and decided to pick up a box of Apple Jacks for Anna since she loves them. I got home and put them in the pantry....right next to two unopened boxes of Apple Jacks and one partially eaten box of Apple Jacks. This phenomenon is now known as "Apple Jack Alzheimers" and I need help. Badly.

I am so tired of walking into a room and saying aloud "Now what did I come in here for?"

I have an amazing memory, but for some reasons, the Gods chose to grace me with this gift and have it only apply to useless trivia. Why is that?

I was at an office party a few weeks ago, and one of my coworkers mentioned the actor Andy Garcia. Without missing a beat, I said "Did you know that Andy Garcia had a conjoined, parasitic twin that was removed when he was a child?"

Who the hell would know that? Me. That's who. I can also tell you that Cleopatra lived closer in time to the moon landing than she did to the building of the great pyramid of Giza. But I can't tell you what I had for dinner last night without pausing to think, and I sure as hell can't remember where I put that magazine I searched for this morning. Go figure.

I may not be able to find my daughter's blue jeans, but I'm a shoe-in to win on Jeopardy.

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