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Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Rockin' Like Dokken

I came across this eighties pictorial on MSNBC the other day - Oh my God - the memories! The Hair!

Oh yeah, baby. I was She-Ra, queen of planet AquaNet back in the day. I had a spiral perm, scrunched up socks, parachute pants and zippers EVERYWHERE.

Sunday, February 26, 2012

Oscar Redux

                                                          OSCAR NIGHT!!!

**I adore Billy Crystal, but he just looks weird. Like his face isn't human skin or something.**

Friday, February 24, 2012

Beatrix, You Need A Life

The cat just went from sleeping peacefully on the couch to farting loudly, jumping three feet straight up in the air and screeching! Turns out she fell asleep on the phone, which was set to vibrate. I'm just glad it's only air that came out of her.

She's now trying to find ways to kill me. I see it in her eyes.

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Gettin' Old

I went grocery shopping and decided to pick up a box of Apple Jacks for Anna since she loves them. I got home and put them in the pantry....right next to two unopened boxes of Apple Jacks and one partially eaten box of Apple Jacks. This phenomenon is now known as "Apple Jack Alzheimers" and I need help. Badly.

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Objects In The Rearview Mirror May Appear Closer Than They Are

I made some brownies yesterday afternoon - a gift for a neighbor who's been terrific to me. They were cooling on the counter as we sat down to dinner last night. My daughter immediately asked if she could have one, but of course, they were for Miss NiceNeighbor, so I told her no. Besides, I reminded her, she got to lick the spoon and the batter bowl.

"And I had a drink of the brown stuff, too, Mom." She said.

"The brown stuff?"

"In the little bottle." She pointed at the vanilla extract that I still hadn't put away. "It smelled good, but it was gross."

"Honey, that's not for drinking." I say with a frown.

Monday, February 20, 2012

Verizon, Take Note

I got a call from the Verizon store in my town on my cellphone in the middle of my workday. They wanted to sell me an upgrade. I don't upgrade my phone unless my phone breaks. I don't even use all my allotted minimum balance of minutes every month. I am a complete waste of a salesperson's time, and if they'd looked at my records, they would have seen that.

Sunday, February 19, 2012

Once Upon A Time - Season 1, Episode 13 Recap: Princess Not-So-BitchyToes And Slut-Shaming In Storybrooke

We begin tonight with that magnificent, steely-eyed bastard George, ordering his guards to find that rebellious faux kid of his and bring him back for his forced wedding to Midas's daughter, Abigail (a.k.a. "Princess BitchyToes"). The erstwhile Prince has disguised himself as a middle aged Russian woman (complete with red babushka) and taken a really fast horse, hoping to get to Snow before they catch up.

Meanwhile, back in Storybrooke, Princess BitchyToes' other incarnation, Catherine, is trying to convince David that they need to move to Boston. She's applied to law school via the post that cannot possibly deliver or pick up from a town that doesn't exist, and she thinks a fresh start is what they need.

Flashing back to the Enchanted Forest, Princess Abigail finds Prince Charming and stops him. It turns out to be not so bitchy after all - gee, who'd've thunk? She's willing to help Charming get away because she doesn't love him either. Damn. She's just a sweetheart - I mean, really. Can't even hate the girl.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is what makes the writing on this series shine sometimes. Real life is rarely black and white, and when they embrace all those nuances, when good people get hurt even when they try to do the right thing (or choose to do the wrong thing for the right reasons), it really eats you alive.

Friday, February 17, 2012

Where Have All The Debbies Gone?

When I was growing up, I always wanted to be named Debra. Not the long spelling of Deborah, mind you, but Debra. And of course, I would be called Debbie. It worked beautifully with my last name, and Debbie was great by me. Of course, back then, Debbie's were a dime a dozen, and I rarely ran into anyone with  my not-as-common first name. Why I wanted to shed it so desperately, I don't know. I guess being a Debbie meant I fit in better with all the other Debbies and Heathers and Kellys and Lisas and Jackies that were much more popular than me.

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

All By My Little Lonesome

Another Valentine's Day, and another one for the less-than-stellar record books.

I don't have a very good track record with Valentine's Day. In high school, I never once had a boyfriend on Valentine's Day. Never once. No flowers, no candy, no stuffed animals, no cards. I did get to watch everyone else get stuff, though.

Sunday, February 12, 2012

Silly, But I Love It

Once Upon A Time - Season 1, Episode 12 Recap: Beauty And The Bilious CGI Glow Of The Unexpected Beast

This week's episode give us the story of Belle (played by the ungodly beautiful Emilie de Ravin) and her beast, introducing us to one of the biggest head-swirling mashups in the Once Upon A Time universe when we realize that her beast is none other than Rumplestiltskin.

At the start of the episode, Belle is closeted with her father, a former linebacker with a kiwi accent, and her fiancé Gaston, who's overbearing but not nearly as narcissistic as his cartoon counterpart (and not nearly as fun). Belle is lovely and brave and agrees to go willingly with Rumplestiltskin, who demands her as the price for his help in defeating the ogres.

Flash forward to Storybrooke, where we see Belle's father (a.k.a. "Moe French"), who is now the owner of the local flower shop (wonderfully named "Game of Thorns") pleading with Mr. Gold, who is repossessing his work van in lieu of payment. Gold obviously owns this whole town.

Gold runs into Regina, who demands that he make time for a conversation. She's obviously catching on to the fact that he has an agenda here, and it includes Emma. Gold tells her the conversation is going to have to wait, and employs the magic word: please. Regina's eyes narrow - that's the second time he's gotten out of a conversation that way, and she's starting to have serious suspicions.

Friday, February 10, 2012

Foolishness Remembered

Anna was asking me who else in my family went to college. That wasn't too hard to answer, unfortunately. My brother and I were the only college graduates on my mother's side of the family. On my father's side there are a couple of cousins who took classes, and one who got a degree. My father attended college for awhile after he retired from the military, but he never finished.

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Pale Imitation

I used to dress like all of them.

Tailored suits. Expensive shoes. Briefcase, which morphed into a laptop bag sometime in the early part of the millenium when I joined a dot-com startup. I could PowerPoint with the best of them, I knew all the buzzwords and I constantly talked about metrics. I worked late, I came in early, I showed up on weekends. I drank eagerly from the fountain of Red Bull and gorged on the Hot Pockets in the breakroom freezer.

I wasn't happy.

Monday, February 6, 2012

Thursday, February 2, 2012

Too Busy Being Busy

I was too busy last night. I got home from work and had so much to do. My mind was going through the list of all the things I had to finish. Log into online banking. Pay bills. Groceries. Work on the blog. Tax stuff organized. Laundry. Cleaning. I knew I'd never get it all done, but I could at least tackle a good bit of it.