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Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Brand New Me: Day 1

The alarm went off at 5:20AM, and it was time for me to get up, get my fat butt into my too-tight sweatpants that really shouldn't be that damn tight, and get on my Wii board to work out with  my Wii Fit.

I stared at the clock with bleary eyes.


My daughter had kept me up talking most of the night, describing a series of bizarre dreams she'd had that involved a flying dolphin and her Math teacher. I needed my rest, dammit.

No, I needed to get up. I needed to get up before I got so fat that I needed a prying bar, a winch and a series of pullies to get me up.


The clock glowed with an unearthly light. Was it always that bright? Or was it amplified, like some tell-tale heart reminding me that my cholesterol was over the limit and my jeans had split out at the thighs over the holidays?

I needed to work out, and I would work out.


The kids said the Wii board wasn't working. It was broken. I yelled at them and everything. I can't work out!

It probably only needs a battery... (said the little voice I hate)

But do I have a 9-volt battery? No, I know I don't. David needed one for that new remote-controlled car he got for Christmas, and I didn't have one. I didn't have one at all.

I couldn't work out.

Blissful sigh. Back to sleep for half an hour, then no time to work out since I have to get dressed, get the kids up, make lunches, pack backpacks, straighten up a bit....

I'll work out tomorrow, after I buy a battery today. Sure I will.

There are other ways to work out besides a Wii board, you know... (Shut up, voice! I'll stab you with a Q-tip in the brain if you keep bugging me!)

Well, at least I'm eating good today. Not a single snack yet, and it's well past lunchtime. Breakfast was incredibly healthy, lunch was grilled chicken and veggies with a big glass of Splenda-sweetened iced tea. I'm saving my one Diet Coke for 3 o'clock, when the worst of the work munchies hit.

Wish me luck. And batteries.

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