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Monday, November 7, 2011

No Can Do

I came across this little item in my internet travels today. Yes, that's just what it looks like - a canned PeanutButter and Jelly sandwich. Supposedly, you can only find them in Utah right now. Will they catch on? I must admit, I'm curious about the taste, but not sure I'd buy it more than once to say I ate it. Or some of it. God only knows what that's like once it hits your tongue. It could be a complete fiasco, like the cheeseburger in a can.

There's practically a whole library on the internet devoted to stuff in a can that maybe shouldn't be in a can (I'm looking at you, Japan...). We Americans are all about convenience, and if we can put it in a can, pull it out of a vending machine and stuff it on a shelf in the pantry to be forgotten until the next food bank drive, well, we love it.

Maybe with the economy the way it is, food hoarding is not a bad idea. People used to make bomb shelters in the fifties. Maybe we need "Can't get a job and I owe more than I'll ever be able to make again" shelters that we can stock with cheap canned goods, in a variety of food groups. My suggestions:

  • Canned Nachos - find a way to keep the chips crispy and fresh and the cheese sauce from tasting like grainy velveeta.
  • Canned BBQ Chicken Pizza - forget the basic stuff. If I'm canning pizza, I want gourmet.
  • Canned Cupcakes - With sprinkles. This is paramount.
  • Canned Soft Pretzels - Beer already comes in cans. It's a no-brainer
  • Canned Onion Rings - Or just stick a whole blooming onion in there. The challenge is to preserve the crisp without losing the grease.
I could go on and on, but I'm really freaking hungry now. I'll leave you with this wonderful looked at Sweet Sue Canned Chicken. Enjoy your night of nausea and insomnia!

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