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Monday, October 31, 2011

Once Upon A Time - Season 1, Episode 2 Recap: Oh, The Bitchfight Is ON.

What the hell is going on here??
I loved the opening of this episode - and since I'm reviewing this season retroactively, I can tell you it's still my favorite episode opening. The use of Cat Stevens "Don't Be Shy" just sets the mood beautifully. A new day is dawning in Storybrooke, and it shows.

Friday, October 28, 2011

My Little Mischief Makers

The kids are so excited about Halloween. I finally got everything together for Anna's costume, and that was quite a bit of work. How is it possible that you can't buy a Coraline costume anywhere? Are my kids the only kids that LOVE that movie? It's so beautiful, and while it is a bit scary for the pre-school set, my ten and almost-eight year old thought the spookiness made it better.

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Honey, Honey

My son has a bad cough and it's been bedeviling him, especially at night. Whatta ya gonna do - it's that time of the year.

Recently, there have been reports about how ineffective childrens cough medicines are. I've also seen several studies reporting that if you give your child a teaspoon of honey, it will stop their cough better than any over-the-counter medicine you can give them. It apparently coats the throat really well. So I put some honey in the medicine syringe this morning and told my son to open up.

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Chance Encounter

The kids and I had been shopping all afternoon, and with two of  Anna's best galpals along, it was quite a rowdy crowd. I had one more store I wanted to visit, but as we all piled into the car, David begged me for a drink because he was thirsty. Come to think of it, I was thirsty too, and really, I didn't need anything at the last store in a major way.

As we headed down the road, I made a snap decision to go through the drive through at McDonald's and skip the shopping. Unfortunately, the line at the drive-through was a dozen cars long, but luckily, this was a McDonald's with an indoor playground, so another spur-of-the-moment decision led to us sitting down to a pile of McNuggets and Fries, and a bunch of happy kids.

As we sat eating, a boy who appeared to be a year or two older than David walked over to the girls at their table and began talking to them, but something about his conversation was a bit off. Disjointed sentences. That "deer in the headlights" look in his eyes. I had a hunch, and a moment later he confirmed it.

Monday, October 24, 2011

Bad Parenting

I am a lousy mother. OK, that was a bit melodramatic. I'm not lousy, exactly. Just...inattentive. When you become a parent, a whole new world opens up for you. A world of wonder. A world of joy. A world of PARANOIA.

Oh, yes indeedy.

It starts when you're pregnant. Did you have a sip of champagne at that wedding? Oh my God, you're going to give birth to a mutated human skull attached to a set of flippers! Are you eating enough folic acid? Taking showers and not baths?

Once you have the kid, the paranoia gets worse, and everyone chimes in with their horror stories and one-upmanship. If I told a mom that my daughter slept 4 hours straight, she was either lapsing into a coma or hyperactive, compared to their child. My kids have been too small, too big, eating too much, eating not enough, too energetic, and not getting enough exercise. And it's all my fault.

Once Upon A Time - Season 1, Episode 1 Recap: Iconic and Irresistable

We open with one of the most iconic scenes in all of fairy tale lore: Prince Charming awakening Snow White, and I want to say now that the triad of Snow White, Prince Charming and The Evil Queen are perfectly, perfectly cast. They look great, they sound great, and the costumes and settings behind and around them are beyond gorgeous.

We flash ahead to Henry, a little boy of ten, seated on a bus and reading through a very old story book that detailed the very scene we just witnessed. He gets off the bus and gives a taxi driver a credit card, so we can only assume he's out and about on this adventure all by himself.

Now we meet Emma – hot, sexy Emma with the sad story of a hard life who turns out to be a ballsy broad and a bail bondsperson, much to the chagrin of the cheating scum she just apprehended – in five inch stiletto heels, no less. You go, girl. She ends the date by beating her target's face into the steering wheel of his car, which, in later episodes will mean that she really likes him, but there I go foreshadowing (since I'm reviewing these retroactively…)

Thursday, October 20, 2011


"So they told me they're sure, after all that testing. He's autistic. He's pretty high-functioning, they think, but he's autistic."

"Oh my God," she said, horror filling her face. "Oh, how awful for you. You must be so disappointed!"

She didn't know how she sounded. My friend meant well. What she probably meant to say was "Oh, if only you could have had an easier diagnosis - something you can clearly understand and work with that would eventually all go away and soon."

Autism doesn't work that way.

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

The Baby With The Bathwater - Or Resistance To Feces Is Futile

He was incredibly proud of the fact that poop had never touched his hands.

While other people bragged about their new baby's cuteness, or intelligence, or the fact that they clearly inherited both from only one side of the family, my husband chose to brag about the fact that he'd been changing diapers off and on (mostly off) for fourteen months and had not ever, not once gotten any feces on his hands. He was fiercely proud of it, too. As if he had some poo-repelling gene or some Daddy superpower that other men would surely trade a part of their souls to have.

He should have known better than to mock the excrement gods.

Friday, October 14, 2011

I Remember: Graduation Day

He marched down the aisle, in his bright gold gown, his hat perched jauntily on top of his head. "Hey, he's keeping the hat on!" I said to his father, and he echoed my surprise. For a moment, I thought he'd blow the whole ceremony because he saw me and immediately raced down the aisle into my arms screaming "Mommy!" I gave him a quick hug, and reminded him that he needed to keep walking till he got to the chairs. He said "OK. I'm walking!" Then he jumped back into the procession, made it to his chair, and stayed in it in a very well-behaved manner, in fact, he was better behaved than most of them.

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Saying Goodbye

Nearly eight years ago, I said goodbye.

Goodbyes happen every day, and not all of them are bad, you know. There are the garden variety goodbyes you give to your neighbor, your children as they head off to school, your spouse as he climbs in the car. Then there are the harder goodbyes, those of death and separation and failed love that stamp your soul and leave it forever marked. Don't forget the good goodbyes - several past jobs and bosses come to mind, a few acquaintances, and some unwanted pounds around my middle.

Nothing prepared me to say goodbye to my child.