Life With A Side Of Autism


Tuesday, September 1, 2015

It Ain't Easy Being A Light Sleeper

When my ex and I first began cohabitating, the clock radio alarm was on my side of the bed. He soon learned that this was folly. Every morning at 7am, the clock would make a distinctive "click" a split-second before the radio would engage, and in that fraction of a heartbeat, I not only rolled over, but I found the off button (rather than the snooze) and turned it right the hell off and went back to sleep.

We were in college at the time, and that meant he was late or slept right through some things (me, too) and he ended up moving the clock to his side of the bed. He learned quickly enough that I can vault myself out of a tangle of covers (or encroaching male) and slap the snot out of a clock between the click and the start of a song, return to my side and be fast asleep before he even registered that there had been an elbow in his throat.

Monday, August 31, 2015

5 Important Things To Remember About Back-To-School Time

I know some of you have kids that have been in school for a month already, but up here, school starts Monday. Here are a few helpful things I've learned in my years as a Mom:

1. School supply lists are a helpful guide, but come know you're going to end up needing posterboard a couple of times, two more pairs of scissors (they'll lose them), enough glue sticks to wallpaper an airplane hanger and five more composition books than you planned on because your daughter used the ones for school to write down One Direction song lyrics. Might as well get it all while it's cheap.

Friday, August 28, 2015

Frantic (But Still Fun!) On A Friday

I'm just going to be short, sweet and to the point here:

I don't have time to blog today. I really don't. I have this really, really big thing and I have to do some stuff in anticipation of the announcing of this really big thing and on top of that I just came back from vacation so I've got stuff heaped up all around me.

I promise, Monday will be business as usual. But today? I need today.

Here, have a video of John Stamos, showing you how to cuddle. It's a few years old, but I love it. (NSFW language at the end)


Thursday, August 27, 2015

Please Pardon My Happy Resting Face

I'm sure many of you have heard of the phenomenon known as "Bitchy Resting Face."

This particular affliction causes problems for people whose natural resting face appears to be angry or standoffish. People with this issue are often told to "cheer up" when they're perfectly happy, or they get asked a lot about what's bothering them when nothing is. It's annoying, I'm sure.

But I wouldn't know, personally. You see, I have the exact opposite. I have a happy resting face. Not just neutral - but happy. Smiling. My default face.

Wednesday, August 26, 2015

Mostly Wordless Wednesday: Bye Bye Beach

One last look at paradise
One last roll of a wave
One last call of a gull
One last waft of a salt breeze cooling my skin
One last sunset on the beach
And then we go
Back to the real world 
Where wearing shoes doesn't feel quite normal somehow anymore
One last memory, and a promise
I'll be back
Maybe someday, to stay

Tuesday, August 25, 2015

Infertility Was A Terrible Rollercoaster...But For Me, It Was Worth It

They explained it all with absolute clarity. 

People talk about how confusing the process is - all the appointments with the doctors and the surgeons and reproductive endocrinologists and the microbiologists and the 'gists you haven't even heard of before. But you learn more about your body than you ever knew before. Ever wanted to know before.

Your body becomes not your own. It has now been reduced to its most basic form. An organism. A malfunctioning organism that will now be tampered with, drugged, pushed and prodded, scheduled, dissected and all while draining your physical and emotional bank accounts dry. The cost in dollars: exhorbitant. The cost to your soul: incalculable. You'll do it anyway.

Monday, August 24, 2015

Of Mice And Men And Mermaids: The Challenge Of Special Needs And Siblings

"Mom will you sing 'Morningtown Train' tonight?" she asks as we eat dinner.

"Oh, Boo, you know I can't. That song is too long and David climbs all over me and ruins it for us," I say.

Anna nods, dejectedly.

"How about...'Goodnight, My Someone'?" she asks, hopefully.

"Okay," I relent. "But only the first verse. You two need to get to bed."

I will stand next to the bed and sing. Stand, when I used to sit. I used to hold her long and stroke her hair and sing and sing and sing. We used to sing "Morningtown Train" and we'd lay on the bed and rock like we were on a train, her softly saying "chugga, chugga, chugga" under her breath between the choruses.

And then when it was over, she'd pretend to be asleep, and I'd pull the covers up over her and kiss her and wish her beautiful dreams. But not anymore. Now it's a hasty song, by the side of the bed. I quickly smooth her hair and kiss her cheek, reminding her that I love her. I don't dare touch her longer, or hold her close much or David will attack.

Yes, David will attack.