Single Motherhood

Single Motherhood served with a side of Autism



Thursday, July 24, 2014

My Son's Words Of Wisdom: "You Have A Lot To Remember About Me"

I was a rotten mother yesterday.

I forgot to give my son his allergy medicine yesterday. It's nothing prescription or anything, just 12 hour Claritan, but this time of year, he really needs it.

And I was rushing out the door to work and just plain forgot. He was fine for most of the day, but by about six o'clock he was in bad shape. He was sneezing almost constantly, nose running uncontrollably, and worst of all, his eyes were swollen almost shut. I would have noticed it sooner, but he'd been out riding his bike around and it wasn't until he nearly rode into my car pulling into the driveway that I realized something was wrong.


Wednesday, July 23, 2014

Mostly Wordless Wednesday: Thank God It's Legal


Dude.
That was some simply excellent catnip
Primo stuff, I'm tellin' you
You know, I was sitting here thinking....why can't we all just get along? I mean, we're always fighting over that last cat treat or that jingling toy and really, we - 
WHOA.
Have you ever looked at your paw, man?
I mean, really looked at it?
My paws are so big.
So freakin' big. 
Dude.
Where did you put the Friskies, dude?
No, seriously. Hand them over, and that can of Pounce, too
And maybe a little more catnip



Tuesday, July 22, 2014

And Today In The News....He Had It Coming



And she would have gotten away with it, if it weren't for those meddling kids....

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Monday, July 21, 2014

My Son Lost His Sister On Saturday - And Learned A Good Lesson In The Process

Something terrible happened to my son on Saturday. He lost his sister.

Oh, don't worry – she's fine. And this isn't a case of David wandering off and getting lost from his sister, either. No, this is a case of David, using his words (yay!) in a way that could hurt someone (not so yay) and discovering there are consequences.

From the very first days of David's autism diagnosis, David's father and I were united and firm in the belief that autism doesn't give David the right to be a jerk to anyone. That doesn't mean that we don't have to accommodate him sometimes. It doesn't mean we don't have to educate people sometimes. Mostly, it means it might take a few repetitions and possibly even physical removal from the scene for David to understand that his words or behavior were inappropriate.

And that's what happened on Saturday.


Friday, July 18, 2014

10 Overused Movie Cliches That Make Me Crazy

My family loves to watch movies. We have a DVD collection that's epic in its proportions, subscriptions to Hulu, Netflix and Amazon Prime, and we still rent from RedBox when there's something new out. We also manage to go out to the movies at least a couple of times a month, finances permitting. (After all, buying popcorn, sodas and pretzel nuggets at the movies is about the same as making a mortgage payment).

So speaking as someone who watches a lot of movies on a regular basis, here are a few overused movie conventions that really hack me off:

Thursday, July 17, 2014

Someone Who Makes A Lot More Money Than Me Came Up With This

Do you see this?


That is the packaging for a Venus ladies razor.

And some genius at Gillette came up with the magnificent idea of giving them a Scented Handle. And not just any scented handle, mind you - a Tropical Scented Handle.

So that when I'm done shaving my legs, my palms can smell like sunshine on pineapples, with just a hint of coconut. Because I've always thought to myself, "Self, wouldn't it be awesome if my hands smelled like crushed hibiscus sprayed with over-ripe guava?" Why yes, of course it would.

Wednesday, July 16, 2014

Mostly Wordless Wednesday: The Ugliest Shoe In The Whole Damn World


I found it at a discount designer shoe store, and I had to take a picture
Still, the picture doesn't quite do it justice
This is one ugly shoe
In my high school days, I would have used the word "fugly"
One fugly shoe
Who in the world would wear such a shoe?
No one, obviously, since it was on the clearance rack.
Who would think this attractive?
The odd, old-lady patterned scarf-like material wrapping the ankle
The garish golden faux-roses
The crimson satin bridge offset by the fuschia toe
And the picture doesn't show the cork wedge holding it all up
If Frankenstein dressed in drag, this would be his shoe
For it is a monstrosity
And yet
Part of me thinks it might be fun to wear that shoe
To see the sheer horror on people's faces as they took it in
To wear it proudly and say the hell with all of them
This shoe makes a statement, and I want to be one of those women who make a statement. I want to be bold. In your face. Free.

This shoe is $39.99 on clearance
If it were under $10, I would be bold
But it's forty dollars out of my pocket
To prove that I have what it takes to wear an ugly shoe with pride
Guess it'll have to be someone else's badge of honor