Single Motherhood

Single Motherhood served with a side of Autism

Thursday, October 23, 2014

Pizza And Pedophiles - Welcome To My Secret Nightmare

I'm sharing this story today because it's weighing heavily on my mind. This didn't happen to me, but to a friend, and I won't use names, of course.

My friend's husband runs his own business, and one of his workers, who also happens to be a family member and only twenty years old, was on-site at someone's home, taking a break and eating some pizza.

A nine year-old boy from the neighborhood was skateboarding by, and the two of them got into a conversation about skateboarding and BMX, and soon after it was time for the 20 year-old to get back to work. He had a slice of pizza left in the box, and he didn't want it to go to waste, so he offered it to the kid, if he wanted it. The kid said no, and the 20 year old went back to work.

The kid went home and told his mom that guy working down the street offered him pizza, and Mom flipped out. She went down there and confronted the 20-year old, freaking on him royally for offering her kid food, calling him a pedophile and threatening to call the police. The 20-year old apologized profusely, more than a little freaked out himself, and thought that was the end of it. After all, he didn't ask the kid to get in his truck. He didn't follow the kid home. He didn't even know the kid's name or where he lived. He voluntarily gave the woman his name, the city he lived in,  and let her copy down the license plate number on his truck.

Wednesday, October 22, 2014

And This, Ladies and Gentlemen, Is How You Handle A Fat Joke

Mostly Wordless Wednesday: Join Us....It's Blissssssss

It's a bit dramatic for hand lotion, don't you think?

I'm trying to figure out what everlasting sunshine smells like

It sounds like a great cult name, doesn't it? 

The Church of Everlasting Sunshine

Buy a bottle and support us as we spread a mild citrus aroma to all mankind

I'm doing my part, keeping a bottle on my desk at work

Spreading the message of our new moisturizing overlords

Resistance is futile

Tuesday, October 21, 2014

I Have Seen The Enemy, And The Enemy Is Me

This started out as a post about my diet. Honest.

The thing is, I've been doing really well with it, that is, until last weekend. I went spectacularly off my diet. I went horribly, badly, overwhelmingly off my diet. We're talking half a sack of candy corn, grilled cheese and tomato soup, big bowl of buttered popcorn, ice cream and a meatball sandwich, didn't burn a single calorie off my diet.

Holy cow, was I bad. And I fully planned to write a post full of self-loathing at my complete inability to do this right. At my weakness. At my wretched, chubby self.

And then I decided maybe instead of a rant, I should look at the root cause, here. Why did I sabotage myself? What made me decide that all that junk was filling a need? Or a hole that I dug within myself?

What made me decide that all of that was worth the loss of all I've....lost?

It's time to face the awful truth.

I am a coward.

Monday, October 20, 2014

Once Upon A Time, Season Four, Episode Four: Captain Hook And His Naughty, Naughty Hand

We begin this week's tale with a visit from our old friend Zoso – remember him? I must say, his dental hygiene has improved. He’s here to provide valuable plot fodder – specifically, we learn that the reason The Dark One wants the sorcerer’s hat is because it’ll free him from the dagger and give him unlimited power. Unfortunately, nobody with a dark heart can touch the damn thing so he’s out of luck, and so is Rumpelstiltskin.

Meanwhile, back in Storybrooke, Henry, who previously thought Hook was God’s gift to cool, has suddenly decided that he’s not okay with him after all, but will let his Mom date the guy anyway.. Not exactly a ringing endorsement. Then we step inside Granny’s just in time to see Hook playing darts for the sole plot convenience of being able to miss his shot when Emma asks him out.

And with all due respect to the amazing face and demeanor of Mr. Colin O’Donoghue (for truly, he is a God among hirsute men), but nobody – I mean nobody – should be targeting that dart board but Sheriff Graham. Don’t sully that memory for me.

Friday, October 17, 2014

Fun On A Friday: Stuff That Makes Me Laugh Way Harder Than I Ought To

Hello everyone, and welcome to Friday.


'Bout damn time.

And on this festive day, I'm not even going to remotely try to write something with real content. I need a break. Instead, I'll share with you a bunch of things that make me laugh entirely too hard. If you get caught wheezing and snorting at your desk, don't blame me.

Okay, blame me. But enjoy all the same.

So here we go:

Why parents should not be allowed to text

He means it. (NSFW language)

Point taken.

James posts a lot of pictures to Facebook. James has a friend who is a photoshop master. James is not happy. (This one is especially brilliant, because the guy just ever-so-subtly changes the pics to make them unflattering. And James' comments are hilarious!) NSFW language.

I love the look on his face when he gets to the smallest one....


Take it out!

The most bizarre animated gif I've ever seen.

You might want to rethink the ponytail.

This is why I'm not dating.

I've posted this before, but it never fails to make me laugh. Comedian getting interviewed while eating habanero peppers. NSFW language.

And that's it for today, folks. Enjoy your weekend!

Thursday, October 16, 2014

When A Bank Decides To Strategically Re-Arrange Your Money, You Have To Question Their Ethics

Last week, I told you about my house, and how much I love it, and love living in it and in my neighborhood, and how much my ex wants me to sell it. I also told you how much money it sucks away from me and how much of a struggle that is, sometimes.

I didn't tell you all of it.

I didn't tell you that I had paperwork threatening foreclosure laying on the table next to me as I wrote that entry. And I really wasn't entirely sure why.